if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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