I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
