real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
