well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize