You just made me feel so damn special
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
