he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
should my penis look like a turkey
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize