Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
There r osticjed everywhere
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
