Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
