whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
