jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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