Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
