this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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