Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
