the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
