You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
