I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
