I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
