Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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