one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
