Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
