I got chris browned last night
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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