Capitaan dildo arrescate!
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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