I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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