I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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