Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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