it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
