I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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