The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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