The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
