You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
