we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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