it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
