return my video game
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
