Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
