quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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