dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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