Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
