she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize