Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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