What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
