physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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