I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize