How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
