so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
