in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
