I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
What a dumb baby whore.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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