we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
