Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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