her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize