how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
