Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
