Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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