Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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