in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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