I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
