in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
