pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
