Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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