Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize