dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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