Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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