It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
