I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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