I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
