We won't sleep together?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
