After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
please come you make the beer taste better
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
