I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
