She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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